Tshun Moon was a general in the state of Shi. Dissatisfied with the leadership qualities of the Emperor he wrote a book of military philosophy called THE ART OF VICTORY, which, though seemingly straightforward, was littered with allusions that intimated criticism of the Emperor and even rebellion. Unsurprisingly he one day found himself summoned to the Imperial palace.
He obeyed the summons and in due time found himself, accompanied by six trusted lieutenants, ushered into the Great Hall. Emperor Pan Shi was seated upon the throne, alone but for his one personal guard (a slender young man with a painted face), his two most favored concubines Buttercup and Peach Blossom (the nature of the favors involved was much speculated upon), and the aged but loyal General Shin.
The Emperor said to Tshun Moon: "I have carefully perused your 13 chapters. May I submit your theory of managing soldiers to a slight test?"
Tshun Moon replied: "You may."
"May the test be applied to women?"
"Indeed," said Tshun Moon, and watched, his face carefully impassive, as Peach Blossom and Buttercup departed the room by imperial order to return with the remaining forty of the Emperor's concubines.
Tshun Moon divided them into two companies, and placed Peach Blossom at the head of one, Buttercup at the head of the other. He then bade them all take their fans in their hands, in place of spears, and addressed them thus: "I presume you know the difference between front and back, right hand and left hand?"
The girls replied: Yes.
Tshun Moon went on: "When I say 'Eyes front' you must look straight ahead. When I say 'Left turn' you must face towards your left hand. When I say 'Right turn,' you must face towards your right hand. When I say 'About turn,' you must face right round towards your back."
Again the girls assented, and Tshun Moon began the drill. First he gave the order 'Right turn', but the girls only burst out laughing. Tshun Moon said: "Rule seventeen: If words of command are not clear and distinct, if orders are not thoroughly understood, then the general is to blame." And he started drilling them again, this time giving the order 'Left turn'...whereupon the girls once more burst into fits of laughter. And Tshun Moon said, "Rule eighteen: If words of command are clear and distinct, if orders are thoroughly understood, and the soldiers nevertheless disobey, then it is the fault of their officers."
So saying, he ordered two of his trusted lieutenants to behead the leaders of the two companies.
When Emperor Pan Shi saw that Peach Blossom and Buttercup were about to be executed, he was expressed great alarm and said: "It is not Our wish that you should deprive Us of our favored servants. We request that you leave them unmolested."
Tshun Moon replied: "Having once received His Majesty's commission to be the general of his forces, there are certain commands of His Majesty which, acting in that capacity, I am unable to accept. Chapter seven."
The Emperor spoke again. "We request and require that you leave Our forces unmolested."
Tshun Moon, in a room empty but for the emperor, forty-two concubines, a youth, an old man, himself and six trusted lieutenants, made no reply but to turn his face from the Emperor, take out his own blade, and repeat his order.
The two lieutenants raised their swords...
...and, a few rather confused moments later, Tshun Moon found himself on the ground, his six lieutenants in the process of being stomped to death by forty concubines in stiletto heels, and Peach Blossom and Buttercup holding razor-edged fans at his throat.
The Emperor commanded, and certain screens were moved aside in the Great Hall to reveal an audience comprised of the other six generals of the Empire. General Shin dragged Tshun Moon to his feet to face them.
"As I said, I have studied your book," said the Emperor, "and find that it is but two rules short of perfection. Peach Blossom and Buttercup, can you tell me what they are?"
Peach Blossom curtsied and said, "Firstly, one must remember that the forces one is given to command are fighting for the Emperor and not for oneself."
Buttercup curtsied identically and said, "Secondly, never underestimate the Emperor."
"Excellent," said Emperor Pan Shi.
Tshun Moon's book, amended, was accepted as a great work by the generals of the Empire, and his head was placed in a case near the throne as a sign of respect.
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